Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
