my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
