Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize