You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
