I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
