is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
handjob tips. give me some.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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