you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I have post one night stand depression
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