mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize