I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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