he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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