My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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