So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
