Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...