I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
