Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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