What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
