I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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