New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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