So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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