My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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