It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
