I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
