remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Randomize