"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
