shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
