Whod you bang
Me too!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
