Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
