Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
