STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
