im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
