i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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