Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
