Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
