Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
