last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
