hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
