I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
