It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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