My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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