I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
