well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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