just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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