you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
