please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize