I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
