ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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