I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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