I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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