you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
