3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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