I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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