Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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