dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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