Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I believe in your delicious
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
