It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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