how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize