Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
