I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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