Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
