Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
