What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
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I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
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Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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