So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
