Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
