I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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