please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
