yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
