U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
it's like heaven, but drunker
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Randomize
